The Hmong Ntoo Xeeb ceremony described in this text was conducted by the elders of Ban Mae Sa Mai (Mae Sa Mai . As with much in Hmong religion, Chinese influence is strong, and the Hmong Otherworld is closely modelled on the . (This is mostly the practice today in many Western Nations). There may be traditional artwork or floral arrangements. These parts must remain in harmony to remain healthy. Tie this string on a loved ones hand to bless the individual to find love and serve as a reminder to love all. 10. Because of this, theDab Pogno longer surrounds the house like theXwm Kab. Address the people who hold positions as their roles, not their names. This spiritual ceremony that takes place when a terrible event has happened such as an accident or illness. When they return, the groom's family can block the door just like the bride's family did. So I grabbed my embroidery thread and began to braid her a blessing string. However, the door is blocked by the bride's family in a process called "opening door-bridging walls". It is the groom's responsibility to know the process of how to go about becoming married in order to spare his family from both money and embarrassment. After this, the party takes off in procession to go to the bride's side of the family. Do the bride and groom ever exchange vows during the wedding? The burial plays a crucial role in helping a soul on its journey through the afterlife, even with the lead up of the three days of preparation. Bringing a wife home is the process a man has to go through in order to make a woman his wife. Whats Right for You? If youre attending the Hmong funeral of a friend, feel free to offer any gift that feels suitable to you. To bring and entice the soul home, there is chanting and offerings of food. (Cha, 2010) (See section The Engagement). After these three days, the family removes the body from the home, while the qeej player plays a ceremonial Song of Mounting the Way.. They invite the soul to visit their home in preparation for its journey. If they are pleased, they will protect the believer's descendants from illness and natural disasters. Do not bring your own drinks, but drink what is being offered you. To be prepared when planning a Western-style Hmong wedding, the best thing to do is be informed about the cultures and traditions. It can be difficult to find information about the customs and the process of a traditional Hmong wedding because it is a complicated and extraordinary process. Usually to be blessed with many children, money, success, or health. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); I recalled anxiously waiting for the weekends when I was younger because the weekends meant going over to the cousins. The funeral procession follows, carrying a casket or open stretcher containing the body. Depending, on whether or not you are an immediate family member of the bride or groom, you dont have to be present during the whole wedding. We managed to squeeze in the state fair early in the morning then headed off to purchase everything else. What are some things guests should do at a Hmong wedding? Other acceptable gifts for a Hmong funeral include food and donations to help cover funeral costs. During the period of French colonialism in SE Asia, the French relied on the Hmong for their skills in weaponry and military service. Two rounds of drinks are dedicated to sending the groom and his party home. The couple leaves the brides familys house and returns to the grooms where, on the third and final day, there is a gathering to celebrate the return. May Yang, the shaman, explains that this ceremony is the Hmong version of prenatal care. Meanwhile men are:socializing with one another,helping with paying expenses for the funeral,chopping and preparing meat oroffering chicken to the deceased. At this time, rice and chunks of boiled meats are servedand everyone will introduce themselves to the groom, best man and the bridesmaid. Hmong weddings are taken seriously within the Hmong community. They invite the soul to visit their home in preparation for its journey. This link will open in a new window. The maykong then sit at a table and three rounds of drinks are ordered for formalities, and then the negotiations begin. A traditional Hmong funeral doesnt include a funeral director. Scholars agree that . Pinterest. The grooms family approaches the brides family and asks her parents for her hand in marriage. Jefferson, N.C.: McFarland & Company, Inc., Publishers, Sign in|Recent Site Activity|Report Abuse|Print Page|Powered By Google Sites. They are are on their spiritual journey when they perform this task. The clan leader is usually involved, and if he agrees to this the messenger will hand over money and a wedding date will be set at the convenience of both families. message that can be personalize then wrapped up and slid into the glass bottle, ready to be gifted. of an actual attorney. The third soul, however, will have to be called on the third morning after . By tradition, the man and the woman have equal custody of all the children. I learned it is something given as a gift in wedding, I was embarrassed I didn't give any, and I just don't want to feel like that again. After an autopsy takes place (if necessary), a designated family elder begins the rites by gathering extended family members. The Hmong House: The Location of Shamanic Ritual, Hmong Religiosity and Shamanism In The Twin Cities, Hmong Religiosity and Shamanism in the Twin Cities, Christianity: Hmong Churches and "American" Churches, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. There are four main parts to a traditional Hmong wedding: the bride and groom come together, the bride is inducted into the groom's family on the third morning of their union, there is an exhausting wedding at the bride's home, and the wedding concludes with the groom's family. The children can choose to belong to their stepfathers clan (by accepting his surname, his family spirits, and relatives)or they can choose to remain with their original clan (the family, spirits, and relatives of their deceased father.). Throughout the first and second days of the funeral, guests arrive in large numbers to honor the deceased and mourn with the family. Often, the shaman sits or jumps repeatedly on a bench while playing a bell like instrument. Hmong brides began carrying umbrellas to and from their weddings a long time ago, when traditional ceremonies were complicated events that took several days to complete. The groom's family approaches the bride's family and asks her parents for her hand in marriage. Once you take a seat, stay for the entiretyof the wedding. 5. Dinner is then usually served after all members of the bride's family have arrived. Originally, Hmong funeral services lasted for 7 days. They were days away from the front line when the French surrendered to the Communist Viet Minh; this effectively ended French rule in Southeast Asia. Your generosity keeps American Marriage Ministries running. The washing of feet: This ceremony is based on Biblical scripture John 13:2-5, in which Jesus demonstrates his devotion to his disciples and the humility necessary to serve by washing their feet . The topic brings strong opinions from both sides, due to their unique role in the marriage process. A Simple Vow Renewal With Recognition of Children, Qu Usar Y Qu No Usar Como Oficiante De Bodas. A Hu Plig ceremony was completed to welcome her to the spiritual clan of her husbands family. Hmong people see the death of a loved one as an important part of life. During the 4 day ceremony the girls must abide by certain rules, preventing them to wass or touch their skin, or drink from anything other than their drinking tubes. If it is determined the wife had committedadultery, the husband will get custody of all the children; with the dowry and an additional fine. Are there any other ways to "take a wife"? There are 2-4txiv qeej, men who play theqeej,an instrument that can be used for musical or ritual purposes. The Hmong belief is that this process can be very confusing because there are so many different paths to follow. The Baciceremony is held on many different occasions or events through out the year. 1. All Rights Reserved. However, they are allowed to marry blood relatives, for example the children of a brother and sister can marry because they would be from different clans. 3. We prepped for the funeral by making paper boats and flowers, which serve as money in the spiritual world. Hmong Funeral Songs and Music. Along the way to the gravesite, the funeral procession can often go down a confusing route or make purposeful mistakes to confuse evil spirits. When thinking about occurrences at a traditional Hmong wedding, one will often first think of alcohol and the exchange of money. While there are some wonderful online resources regarding Hmong weddings and traditionsthe best place to find out more is by talking with the elders of the family. "The ceremony was first performed in 2007 when I was approached by two American Indian [medical] students who asked me to do a blessing before they worked on their willed body," Gonzales said. Additionally, if the body faces east, it may be blinded by the sun. Yes! We believe that when your soul wanders away from your body, is lost, or kidnapped by evil spirits you get sick and modern medicines don't really work. Traditionally, when a boy wants to marry a girl, he will make his intentions clear, and will snatch'(zij) her during day light or night at any opportunity that is appropriate. This ritual is done when a person is ill or not being themselves. Prayers are concerned with all the most intense human experiences including entreaties for material benefits, supplications for blessings, requests for opportunities, honoring spirit, unburdening grief, releasing guilt, unloading affliction, worshipping, affirming desires, offering gratitude, wishing for escape from pain and suffering, and The qeej player leads the procession, along with the drummer. It's always family first. First, the bride and groom, who would each have two attendants to assist in the ceremony, would walk to opposite ends of the wedding table and the attendants would spread out a rug for the bride. GitHub export from English Wikipedia. Khi Tes ceremonies can also be celebrated with other events. Cha, Ya Po,An introduction to Hmong culture(Jefferson, NC: McFarland, 2010),101., Hmong Religiosity and Shamanism In The Twin Cities, Hmong Religiosity and Shamanism in the Twin Cities, Hmong Rituals: Birth, Marriage, Death, Healing, Christianity: Hmong Churches and "American" Churches, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. The family then removes the body from the home and begins the journey to the gravesite. Hmonderns Blessing Strings consist of four different colors. Everyone lent a helping hand and the party was a success. We believe reflecting on our mortality can help us lead more meaningful lives. 3. Pinterest. A shaman visits the home of the person who needs their soul to be checked on. Ua Neeb (shamanism). The soul travels back to every place the person ever lived on Earth, ending in the burial location of the persons placenta. 4. Throughout the first and second days of the funeral, guests arrive in large numbers to honor the deceased and mourn with the family. Marriages take place between two clans with different last names. Can you please give me some advice? When my grandpa died six years ago, my extended family and I spent one month comforting my grandma and aunt by coming over to their home for everyday for one month. A fun fact is that anyone can tie strings- not just a Shaman. The. What is the most common way to get married? Touch device users, explore by touch . LinkedIn. The family has to agree to the marriage and and previous feuds have to be settled in order for a couple to marry. She had completed her studies and has moved to Texas to continue with her education. The family and negotiators then begin a blessing ritual to ask the ancestors to accept the bride into the household, a process which is followed by feasts prepared by the family. My best friend invited me to her son's blessing this weekend, but I have no idea what I should take or if I need to. Funeral rites are a cornerstone of the Hmong faith and culture. Hmong tradition teaches that when persons pass away, they will go back and visit each place that they have been to, with the last destination being their birthplace. The daughter did this and was married off. What happens after a man brings a woman home? This is traditionally only a symbolic kidnapping: the girl is allowed to refuse to go. Readers Review Wedding Industry Software. Any information you provide to Cake, and all communications between you and Cake,
During this time, all of the family members sit around thetxiv xaivwhile he tells them the words from their deceased loved one. The third day of a Hmong funeral is full of music. Later, the couple often displays the umbrella in their home, hung on the wall by its rounded handle as a keepsake of the special day. During the cafe MN guests will be offered to tie a white string around the wrists of each family member and in doing so a gift is given to the family. The family will likely help you understand what to expect at the funeralespecially if you ask. It is chosen because it can guide the soul back to its ancestors. After the burial, the 13-day mourning period begins. (Cha, 2010). The family members are required tonyiav, to mourn for the deceased. Basically what a blessing ceremony is is a Hmong version of a baptism. 9. Required fields are marked *. Two tables are set up, one for the main wedding crew and the other for the parents and other honored guests. After the wedding, the bride will be given farewell presents and three sets of new clothes by her parents. The two sons were called Lialue and Trumee. On this second day, many conditions are put on the marriage between the families by negotiators. (Lwm qaib) She will not be allowed to visit anyones house for three days after this. Hu Plig (who plee), a soul calling ceremony performed by shamans, when the soul has been frightened away. Did you know? Shamanism is a way to maintain communication with the spiritual world. (Tiam mej koob) In the 21st century, Hmong people who practice Christianity no longer follow traditional Hmong weddings; they often opt for a modern westernized wedding. If just the wife wants to divorce her husband without any firm grounds, the marriage dowry must be returned to the husbands family, as the wife will be the one choosing to leave the household. Most guests offer donations, known as sunshine money, as described above. Then more drinking and feasting occurs at the groom's house. [3] For example, a Xiong may not marry another Xiong. The guest maykong will then add twice the amount of money to the piles, and the resident maykong will then place the maykong fee on top. The second day of a Hmong funeral is the day of offerings, or. The ceremony can be held for both sad times and happy times. Shamans are revered in Hmong culture for communicating with the spiritual world to retrieve the soul of a person who is ailing. Instagram. oer blessings to the baby and the couple, proceeding from oldest to youngest. If just the husband wants to divorce his wife without any firm grounds, the husband will have to come up with some money to send the wife back to her family with all the children, as the husband will be the one choosing to leave the household. Each person is thought to have 12 parts of the soul. There is a lot of drinking that takes place throughout the entire wedding. A graduation party at the park can also be a Khi Tes ceremony for the graduate. How long does the typical Hmong wedding last? The paternal uncles of the bride are responsible for this. The multi-day rituals required the bride to travel back and forth between the grooms home and her own, and she was given an umbrella to protect her from the elements and evil spirits as she traveled. We cook a lot of food, invite family, a shaman performs the blessing ceremony and everyone ties a white string around her and our wrists to wish is luck in life and give Lillian gifts (money). The bride runs away to the grooms house. The Hmong religion considers west to be the direction of death. Preparations for a funeral happen weeks before the funeral and many people are involved. The Hmong people live primarily in southern China and Southeast Asia, including Vietnam, Laos, Thailand, and Myanmar, and large communities of refugees and immigrants have formed around the world. Family members and family friends tie white strings around the wrists of the guest of honor. The groom then kneels in front of his parents and other elders, asking them for help. For media inquiries, please contact James Stephen Smith, Director of Media Relations at 718-990-5789 (o), 516-313-4568 (m); or at smithj8@stjohns.edu. A funeral of this length means that the deceased is a well-respected person and has lived a wonderful life. Khi Tes is a Blessing String Hand Tying Ceremony and it is exactly what it sounds like. The maykong must carry an umbrella which is carried around in order to protect the spirits of the bride and groom. There are a few rounds of drinks, honorings of ancestors and spirits, and thanksgiving done at the groom's home before the wedding is finally considered over. The traditional Hmong religion is animist -- the belief in a spirit world and that all living things are interconnected. You are most likely to attend these spiritual and untypical gatherings depending on how traditional your family is. Rituals performed by the head of the household "in honor of the ancestral spirits" are for individual benefits which are usually done during Hmong New Year celebrations. Its elegant, curved sides capture the blessings of friends and families, filling it with love and goodwill. This is the way in which Hmong parents usually wish in which their daughter will be married off, and it is viewed as bringing honor to the family. If the family doesnt perform the soul-releasing ritual, however, the persons soul will not be reincarnated. player then leads the way to the cemetery, followed by a woman carrying a torch. Cooked food, like chicken or pig, is considered a gift to the family. For the first three days of the bride's stay at the soon-to-be groom's house, she is not allowed to do any work and the husband usually gets her new clothing to start their life together. Usually, the animal that is being sacrificed would become the meal for the guests, but nowadays, some Hmong families order outside food in order to save time. Board of Directors; Department Overview; International Distributors; Management Team; Vision, Mission Statement & Core Values; History. By clicking "Accept", you agree to our website's cookie use as described in our Cookie Policy. 2. After the funeral and burial, the Hmong people believe that the soul remains at its gravesite for 13 days. The family then buries the body, traditionally on the side of a mountain, facing west. Funeral flowers are acceptable as well. However, some Hmong couples opt for modern weddings that incorporate aspects of their culture and heritage. These good days are known to elders, senior monks, or ex-monks. Blessed with a great number of relatives, it was a guarantee that there was bound to be someone celebrating a joyous milestone also referred to as Khi Tes in the Hmong culture. Through this journey, Hmong funeral traditions begin from the moment a person is born. Do this in order to prevent confrontations with other guests. But you can still bring a respectful gift to a Hmong funeral. We cook a lot of food, invite family, a shaman performs the blessing ceremony and everyone ties a white string around her and our wrists to wish is luck in life and give Lillian gifts (money). Light is considered pure, it dispels darkness, nourishes life, and illuminates everything. Funerals are usually four days long. And although the tradition is quite old, even modern Hmong couples sometimes choose to include a black umbrella in their ceremony out of appreciation for its rich symbolism and history. This link will open in a new window. On the third day, the burial typically takes place. I woke up at 4:30 am to make rice. One last round of drinks sends the guests home. Facebook. generalized educational content about wills. Throughout the ceremony, the shaman's husband burns pieces of paper money as offerings to the spirits. A large feast at the grooms family home is next, followed by another feast and a long negotiation at the brides home, helped along by the families mej koob (marriage negotiator). Hmong weddings are really emotional for the bride and her family, since she is forever leaving the nest and adopting a new family. I came upon the idea of Hmonderns Blessing Strings this summer when I had missed a dear persons Khi Tes ceremony, my cousin Chia Vang whom I had grown up with. (Cha, 2010). It takes place in the home of the deceased, where family members will wait until it is time to perform the xi. Buddhist Monk Blessing Ceremony (06.30am) At 06:30 the early rising monks arrive to the front room and take place along the back wall.