After 19 hours of back labor and an emergency c-section, my ex went bowling with his parents. After threats, and having my parents call and force him to drive back. Now for Baby #2I have pictures of Dad sitting in my hospital bed holding our daughter, chatting on a phone headset. However, Phil and I are pretty much the masters of the silent fight. He does not drink every night, but just a handful of times a year. (I don't think he would like that job much!). After your first childbirth, labor usually takes less time. Let's get right into it- the top ways to make labor come faster after losing your mucus plug: 1. A. I gave birth to our baby in our house on our bed till i was discovered by his fifteen year old niece. -Stephanie, My husband started throwing up while I was pushing. my hubby went on smoke breaks during each contactions I had. We went to the urologist and he laughed out loud when my DH said that he was a moderate drinker and then told him that he usually had 1 or 2 beers a day. He said okay, proceded to go hook up the horse trailer, load his horses and tell me that he was going to a branding. I know the baby could come anytime now but I can't really worry too much about it or it will just make me worry more. A therapist or counselor will be able to help him overcome his addiction and lead a more fulfilling life. Don't do it right after work when he's looking forward to sitting and unwinding. We got to the hospital at 5 pm. And then figured hed take care of some business while he was on the line. Our son was born in the morning. . He said that it was probably nothing and I should try to get some sleep. Guess who is going to be taking care of the baby all night through? However, if you are determined to recover from it and stay sober, you can do it as long as you stay strong and focused. Its not a movie wherein things change quickly. Baby. We tackled more laundry. Her husband waited nearby but outside the birthing room. When they dont have a limit, they will drink more than they need to and will surely be uncontrollable. Your rights as a patient supecedes his right to violate your peace and privacy. It is quite difficult to deal with an alcoholic husbands emotional abuse. So not only did my husband eat an Indian take-away while I was in the throws of labour, he told me my hair looked a mess. since the 4th month. If your husband is an alcoholic, make every effort to avoid situations that are triggers for drinking. The worst part was later when he said, You know, you seemed kind of mad that I got sick. Yeah, sorry I couldnt be sympathetic. I hope you haven't given up on this post. -Parisa, When it was time to go to the hospital, my husband said he needed to shower and shave first. Dad learned something very important about the fathers role in childbirth that day. Since our house is on the way to the hospital, we stopped to get our bags. I asked for all the ridiculous stuff your husbands pulled while you were in labor. "Put. In some cases, there are no signs. Haha! Raspberry leaf tea is supposed to help with uterine contractions, reported Pregnancy, Birth & Beyond, though there's some contradictory evidence as to whether or not it . I was prepped for emergency c-section and we had friends in boats out looking for him in the bay. You probably will NEVER be in that much pain but if you are, I sincerely hope you remember what you said! No matter how many times this joke-cum-legend is passed off as a recent tale, nothing will . I jumped on board. He normally goes to the pub every Friday, not too late. The longer you hide your head in the sand the bigger the issue will get. The birth of our child is not about him, it's about me and the baby. He replied that he didnt feel so well. He drinks every night. . posts, and comments anonymously, in any medium. I cleaned the house again. He's in sales and always has social work meetings where drinks are served, too, which doesn't help. Your H has a serious drinking problem, you enable him, you are having a baby who will be left alone with this man, and all you are worried about is getting to the hospital? 14 Things to Do With Kids in NYC When Its Super Cold Outside, The Mommy Shorts Guide to the East Village, The Mommy Shorts Guide to the Meatpacking District, 11 Sweet Places for a Kid-Friendly Dessert Date in NYC, Harlows Hip Hop Class is the Perfect Palette Cleanser to Last Nights Debate. Im shaking because of the epidural so I get no sleep, and hes snoring and well fed. You have a choice as an adult to enable and accept his behavior, your innocent baby does not. Im straight, but if I ever go into labor Ill probably wish I had a wife. When one starts living with a functioning alcoholic husband, they try to take control of situations, as mentioned above, and behave as a counselor. I mean he would have just stayed home and played video games, if I had given him the impression that Ill be okay on my own. When we had our first child, I was nesting like mad crazy the night before (I was in labor, and my house had to be clean for my mom). And yeahshe figured it out and got him out quickly after that, but he was deeply bruised and as a result had terrible jaundice, needing bili blankets through the fifth day and had muscular trauma in his neck that he needed therapy to correct for two years afterward. I woke up at 2:30 to contractions. With this next one, were doing a home birth, so no monitors, but I still anticipate him being so busy talking that hes not really focused on me. When one starts living with a functioning alcoholic husband, they try to take control of situations, as mentioned above, and behave as a counselor. My nurse who had me pushing literally would not let me catch my BREATH because she told me to push every 10 seconds..for 2 WHOLE HOURS. Once we got to the hospital, though, he was great. Probably because I threatened him with bodily harm if he didnt. This, my friends, is truly a gift. My husband was beyond perfect. There is no scientific proof to show that drinking alcohol can help in inducing labor. DH is not allowed to drink at all right now..my life and his unborn child are going to be in his hands when he drives me to the hospital. We asked around and found 10 different ways women knew they were in labor. When your partner needs help, they will reach out to you. He THEN started snoring and for about 30 minutes I tried to ignore it, but was just getting increasingly more annoyed with each breath he took. Its amazing he still had the equipment to impregnate me one more time time!!!! By. I was induced w/our first, and it took a while for things to kick in. 5. I push for over two hours and my daughter was born at 6:55 am. These are all way worse than mine, but my husband insisted that my then 19 hours of labor was not *real* labor because my contractions were not evenly spaced apart like the book says and did not think it was necessary for me to go to the hospital when I could no longer stand the pain. And that he has a choice to make but if he wants to "risk" drinking each night then that's his problem if he isn't there. He never got that chance. In addition, you should also come up with a list of goals that you want to achieve as a couple once you are done with treatment so that you can lead a more productive and happy life together. I think you should talk with him about this (perhaps a counselor as well if talking to him alone won't work? Yesterday, my husband got drunk at his family's cookout. . Is this the best way though? God bless my daughter for sleeping/ nursing her way into this world. It's like a moron twilight zone in here. Hubby went home to get a good nights rest the night I got induced. This must help. About a week later, when it all sunk in and I realised that I was that mother whose husband was basically flammable in the delivery suite, I realised I had been sitting on a teensy bit of suppressed anger. Only when you will make them realize that it is a problem and it puts you in an awkward position afterward, they might understand the intensity of the issue and will look for a solution. Sept. 28, 2016. Finally after I frantically run around the church for a few mins he calls back in which I tell him get all our pre packed bags and carseat ready to go Im on my way home she is in labor, we lived 4 hours from the birthmom. NOW I have to remind him, when he rolls his eyes knowingly seeing movies where women scream in pain during labor, that it really IS realistic too, even if it was not what he observed! During pregnancy, the cervix stays closed and plugged up with mucus (aptly called the "mucus plug"). I know the tone has gotten pretty intense, but it shouldn't interfere with the central message: the behavior you're describing in your husband is binge drinking, and the more often he does it, the worse off your family will be. My brother and father arrived at around 10pm and my brother volunteers to go out and get some food for my husband. I am so thankful and blessed I dont have a story to share like this. While having my first son, I tore from one end to the other. I think he needs a friend intervention - sounds like he would not listen to you. an hour later, he arrived 15 minutes before our daughter did. ! lol But overall, he was my rock through both of my labors and he never left my side, so I guess I cant complain too much. How do you know he will take you seriously if you tell him you are uncomfortable with the amount he is drinking? One of the major issues that you, as the wife of an alcoholic husband, may face is awkward situations in public or family gatherings. On the way there, he takes a random left turn and lets me know he needs to stop at the ATM because he has no money. She told all of the nurses to shut up and leave as she recovered. Probably my biggest moment of suppressed anger started on the 2nd of December, 2006. His response was, OOPS! If it were me, I would tell him in no uncertain terms that if he wants to be there that he has to be 100% sober. In the worst case, you would also want to avoid the situation as much as you can. I also worry about his habit when the baby comes, if he needs to unwind now it's going to get a lot worse when the baby is around as far as stress level goes. The *only* reason I left the room when she was in labor was to go to the bathroom. Besides, alcoholic people need reasons to blame people for their condition. Now I refuse to touch it so that I can pass it down to my own daughter. I've tried explaining this to him, but he really thinks he deserves to unwind however he wants since he works so hard. Unfortunately, real life doesnt always abide by my blogging schedule and sis gave birth last Friday night! He passed out in my bed (I was in the chair) and proceeded to puke. So say he is out for a work meeting until 6, and he had 2 glasses of wine. After a long labor and birthing a 10 lb baby naturally, my husband, told me that the room smelled like a deer was gutted in it. It also gives you a sense of control and confidence when you are working with your husband or partner on recovery. He works, he goes out with friends, and when OP asks him to be around or spend more time with her, he tells her to get her own friends. She was great because she understood. And to all the posters making excuses: it doesn't matter if it's beer or liquor. My daughters dad (who fortunately I had the good sense never to marry) kept his distance from me the last month or so of my pregnancy, which probably is what kept me from delivering in prison, but he wanted to be at the hospital for the birth. Its just like this all the things men do wrong only it was just one man, My man, so dont nobody try to take him! These are hilarious! After our first they were sewing me up from some tearing. When it comes to how to live with an alcoholic husband, try not to make any major decisions without getting input from your spouse or partner first. You will have to work together, as a team if you want to come out of the situation. I was so exhausted. All I could do at that point was laugh. It will make the recovery process much easier for you both if both of you work together towards the same goal. Labor and delivery for Baby #3 were pretty uneventful, but I made it clear that I considered being in the hospital a vacation of sorts. I will never know. When I told my boyfriend it was time to go, he said he needed to take a shower and shave. Silverstein had her first child in a hospital, with her husband present. We went anyway, and I was 5 cm dilated with double back labor. He will have a beer or two these days, but knows not to get drunk during my last few weeks of pregnancy. He cracked jokes the entire time, including asking my medical team (all women in masks) what they were making in woodshop. He doesn't drink that much EVERY night, but it happens, and I just KNOW with my luck, he will drink that much on the night I go into labor. I know that if I tell him I am uncomfortable with the amount he is drinking then I know he would take me seriously. I was panting when he turned and yelled at me why cant you get to four. The midwife explained it at the hospital as the baby was born less then 30 minutes later. I woke up at 2 am when my water broke, shook my husband awake and told him. my husband decided that my induction, right as the contractions were taking off and I was getting three in a row with no break of even 3 seconds, was the BEST time possible to show my aunt an episode of Firefly. Woodward said the labor was moving fast and about 15 minutes later, the baby had arrived, even before paramedics had arrived on the scene. . So I drove the 40 minutes to the hospital solo. Madeline Harding. (Nurses are usually fabulous but it is always nice to have your own personal support person). My dad went out for tacos! Bern is a Gen X, child of the 80s. We keep quiet about it, yet are both so in tune with one another, we know exactly the minute something is up. It was his decision. It doesn't matter if its wine instead of hard drinks, the point is the dependency. You can also ask them any questions you may have and share your experiences with them. Even if this method doesn't work, it's a great way to relieve stress and keep your body strong for the . Nothing until we got home. husband drunk when i went into labor 2022. rpi women's hockey: schedule. We called to tell him to come immediately. Professional help might be available via your health insurance if he needs medical assistance due to withdrawal symptoms (which, if he drinks every day, he might) or a specific substance abuse program may even be available under the mental health coverage in your plan. All I can think of is - How in the world did you get pregnant? For many women, pregnancy can be a stressful time. Away." In hindsight, I love having pictures from the delivery room. I wouldnt have had more babys with a guy who could care less that I was having the first.. How could you have any more kids with someone after that are u crazy. My husband went home the next day and brought me some things, namely a mens xl t-shirt that said Wanna Play Doctor? on it. This will enable you to stay focused and prevent you from giving in to temptation. Joanish, My husband grew up on a cattle ranch, and during labor with our first he very confidently announced to the nurse that he wasnt nervous at all because Ive seen this a million times with cows. He still occasionally takes a beer, glass of wine or a rye down to the office when he's doing paperwork, but occasionally is the key word here. Of course, I ended up delivering at 230 AM and when I asked for something to eat, the doctor told me Id have to wait until the cafeteria opened. I walked up and down the stairs a few times to see if it was real labor. I'll talk to him tomorrow. Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. I had to wait nearly an hour for my epidural and was 8cm when I got it. He never slept even when I did (due to pain meds, epidural didnt work) for 27 hours. -Carrie, After I finally agreed to an epidural, the nurse explained that it would feel like a quick little bee sting. -Lois, I was fully dilated after 18 hours and my husband said you think you can hold out pushing until I grab some breakfast?-Sarah, My husband grew this ridiculous goatee and wore a shirt that said TOERAG on it, so he looks ridiculous in all the photos. Its not that alot of us men are not trying. ? Pack your own hospital bag. It also happened to be the night of our annual street party. My now ex husband left me home to go to army reserves for the day as i labored home alone. Not only is he really annoying when buzzed, which will piss me off and make my pain and anxiety higher, but he can't drive! We had attended Lamaze together and learned the stages of labor. My husband decided the ideal time to invite his parents into the labor & delivery room was when I was laying spread eagle, everything out for the world to see, being stitched up by the doctor after our son was born. I mean you did what she asked, right??? To his credit, he sprung out of bed, I rang my best friend and she came to look after Maddie and Sam. I laughed out loud at several of these and realized that men just want to minimize the birthing. I folded those clothes some more. Sis takes me to the hospital and gets hold of husband. I have always gone into labor in the evening so DH was home with me and it was my water breaking that made me go in. Most women will go into labor within 12 hours of their water breaking, but this can happen much sooner. There's also a growing body of medical literature that finds links between stressful events in pregnancyincluding natural disastersand poor birth outcomes. I guess I had it pretty good! He came back to the hospital with a thong. Holy fuuk. Nice. Because she was in labor, he should have endured what, no food, no water, no bathroom, what is good enough? And then I would unleash hell. LOVED reading all of the stories I thought mine was rare Whos really stupid? I wish men weren't so stupid about some things. She was even . Of course, I couldnt, so about 9 am, I started timing my contractions and they were getting to be about 5 mins apart. My husband actually went back to sleep when I told him I was in laborAnd then when we were AT the hospital, The nurse kept asking him questions about how to get her son into the University he worked at while they were holding my legs. She thought she had just peed her pants, but it kept happening everytime she stood upso off we went to the hospital, and she was definately in labor. Don't take anything personally. -Meredith, My husband had ONE job, ONE. )My husband was engrossed by the Daytona 500. My hubby has a habit of drinking a lot (over 5 drinks in an evening) after a rough day at work, and I'm worried I'll go into labor, and he'll be extremely buzzed. Seriously, OP, the issues surrounding labour should be amongst the least of your concerns here. Sexuality has nothing to do with a persons character or supportiveness. I even brought him the timer and paper and pen, so he wouldnt have to get up. Bud Grace And Frankie Weight Gain . It helps release oxytocin, which is the hormone that causes your uterus to contract. If you can't reach your doctor or midwife, go to the emergency room. June 3, 2022 prince tui teka daughters. -Carrie, My husband rested the magazine he was reading on my legs while I lay dying WITHOUT an epidural. She thought it might go away. I shoot him a look and he says oh, I thought you would drive. I was 7cm dilated when they checked me in. That's some heavy drinking. The biggest sign that the bloody show has occurred is you may notice a bloody mucus discharge from your vagina. I tell everyone this story and will never let my husband forget it! Your DH's drinking is outside what is healthy, for him, for your relationship, and for your new family. My husband fell in a deep sleep and would not wake up to me calling him. He was much better with our sons birth though even cleaned up after me when I puked in the basin I still hold that first time against him though! I almost left the house to officiate a HS basketball game (scrimmage) when she was in labor. I wish men weren't so stupid about some things. Even if they "handle their liquor well" they are drunk at that point. Once labor begins, it can take between 10 to 24 hours (or more) to progress through the three stages of labor before your baby is born. At 7 am, doctor broke my water. Many, many people struggle with this same issue, and there is help available if he chooses to use it. I remember thinking . You have much bigger issues and should seriosly consider looking into alanon. So, there will be relapses in the process, but you should keep on trying. After I threatened to divorce him 75 times, he finally asked for directions and got his pregnant wife to the hospital still pregnant. So, that's the fvcked up part. Because, he was a little bit tired. It's just that the cumulative effect of 4-5 drinks from 5pm until 10 or 11 makes me worry. There was a silence on the phone for a moment, and then in a quiet voice Grandma told Dad she was going to hang up and call back in 10 minutes, and at that time she expected a full report. He happily, obliviously goes back to work. The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that, you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior. I gotta say my husband was good in the delivery room, but I have a whole piece written up about the birth of our 1st, which includes a lot more crap he pulled like hitting every pot hole on the way from out apt to the hospital in Midtown but its way longer than a blog post & when I tried to publish it no one was interested. Hiding bottles or drinking secretly so that family will not know what . Those who knew Angela Dickinson said she could charm any man. So, they may play the trick on you. a. anna242007. When my nurse came in to reposition me I said, can you please wake my husband up his snoring is driving me nuts She did, and he said, well who can get any sleep around here with that beeping(referring to the sound of our sons internal fetal heart rate monitor) It was driving me nuts so I put the pillow over my head!. I had our birth center bag ready. After 38 hrs of labor, My hubby looked at me, with this serious look on his face, while Im pushing our daughters head out, and saidwell that was easy, can we do it again? (It meaning have another baby)i told him sure, but you can carry it this time!, After I had a surgery on my left breast, my husband asked what he would were to an event! I feel your pain! Woman Had Husband Murdered While She Was In Labor With His Best Friend's Baby. After Amy Lam prematurely went into labor and gave birth to their baby at home, her husband, Gilbert Kwok, thought the worst was over. He is trying to lose some weight before the LO gets here. I had trauma to the right side of my abdomen and hip area, have muscle spasms in the regular to this day, five years later, and my incision looks crazy. All. He called the hospital and they said theyd call him as soon as anything happened. Alcoholism is a condition that occurs when someone becomes dependent on alcohol to the point where it controls their life. Its a disorder or an, How to Deal With Someone Who Blames You for Everything, 15 Ways How to Have Self-Control in a Relationship. A few other symptoms are: Drinking early in the morning. This has nothing to do with "men being stupid". Sandals and flip flops are not recommended, especially if a situation arises where you may have to go into an operating room. My hubby is a talker, too. When I woke up after the operation, the nurses unceremoniously kicked me out, but because I didnt have a cellphone, I couldnt call him and I didnt have my own transport. I had a hellish time trying to breastfeed my newborn son (turns out he had a tongue thrust issue and didnt latch on until he was 5 weeks old ) and in the middle of the hospital room, amidst lactation consultants and even a sucking specialist , my husband announces : Honey, let me show you, this is how you do it. After 26 hours of Oxytocin induced labour our son arrived and my hubby had the balls to say jokingly Well, at least we know hes hers! There was never any doubt about paternity, it was just his stupid sense of humour. Hubbys problem is that he likes to talk. Okayjust to show another sidebecause I love this storywith my third we had some complications and had an emergency c section. It's annoying, but it's not like he sits down and pounds hard alcohol or something. Damn you to hell. If I could have, I would have stood up and cheered. Yeah right. While bringing the note over they saw his truck and had to go bang on our bedroom window to wake my stupid husband up. Awww come on, suck it up. If he won't deal with that, you should. This consultation should happen long before a manager is faced with a worker who might be drunk on the job, she said. Five drinks regularly to "unwind" isquite a lot. Lucky for him, he was standing just out of my reach. Are there any good books for hubby that explain the importance of truly supporting the wife? So this guy was supposed to NOT eat. You may come across situations where things go beyond your control, and you might end up in an embarrassing situation. Im in labor! Thank you TokenI think im in love with you! He ran away because he said he had business at work he had to attend to. And yes, I actually fix my hair. 20 Tips to Deal With Unresolved Issues in a Relationship, 10 Signs Being in a Relationship With an Alcoholic Partner, A therapist or counselor will be able to help him, 10 Ways to Support Your Spouse in Addiction Recovery, 15 Ways to Improve Emotional Support in Your Relationship, Individuals with alcoholism may have a number of behavioral and emotional characteristics, including a lack of self-confidence and. This classic, tell-tale sign of labor can appear as a big gush, or it can happen in a slow, light stream. I asked for all the ridiculous stuff your husbands pulled while you were in labor. If you want to read all 237 responses (and YOU DO), click here. I finally woke him up to help me time them, since they were getting more intense. I have to admit, my husband is a trooper in regards to labor and delivery, absolutely wonderful. She gets anxiety from any surgery, so her anxiety was high. With my first child, my husband slept the entire time from time time i started having contractions to the time when i started to push. When the guy on the other end asks so, how are you doing? because he probably heard my whimpering/low moaning in the background, my husband replies well my wife is actually in labor and were on the way to the hospital I think the guy on the phone call was speechless at first, and then smartly ended the conversation so my husband couldI dont know focus on driving through the blizzard and getting his wife to the hospital!?!