“Let me make sure I understand what has happened to you. Thomas B. Marsh allowed himself to be acted upon, and the eventual results were apostasy and misery. Come, Join with Us President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's talk given at the 2013 General Conference Saturday Morning Session What puts a “bee in my bonnet” or a “burr under my saddle,” if you will? Holy Scriptures: The Power of God unto Our Salvation, The Atonement Can Clean, Reclaim, and Sanctify Our Lives, The Atonement Can Secure Your Peace and Happiness. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf - Continue in Patience - … There are those who will be offended just by reading this quote about offense, even when none was intended, and certainly none was directly said to hurt you, personally. The Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter-day Saints, based in Utah, has some 13.5 million members around the world. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. Please remember that you and I are agents endowed with moral agency, and we can choose not to be offended. As we respond to this invitation with faith in the Savior, I testify and promise that doors will open, our mouths will be filled, the Holy Ghost will bear witness of eternal truth, and the fire of testimony will be rekindled. ( Log Out /  “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:43–44, 46–48). One of the greatest indicators of our own spiritual maturity is revealed in how we respond to the weaknesses, the inexperience, and the potentially offensive actions of others. It can also be used as a shield to avoid self-reflecting on whether or not we’ve acted offensively and need to make amends. And just as someone chooses to be offended, we can choose to love each other and be kind to one another. We want people to just go off of the intent that we had.”. Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. “For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? "To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else," Elder David A Bednar said. Pahoran might easily have resented Moroni and his message, but he chose not to take offense. 1976, 16). Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. The key to a successful life in the Gospel is continual learning. … And now, in your epistle you have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart” (Alma 61:2, 9). As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. And at some point early in our conversation I often would ask a question like this: “Will you please help us understand why you are not actively participating in the blessings and programs of the Church?”. The truth is, even with the best intentions, we need to be aware of the impact that we have on people. I conclude my message with two invitations. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. A visiting teacher learns her duty as she serves and loves her Relief Society sisters. I felt like an outsider. Will you please prayerfully identify a person with whom you will visit and extend the invitation to once again worship with us? However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to … I put down the card that I would pick. I have been baptised on July 4th,1999, surely mormons dont have a right to baptise dead people? By Jana Riess — January 27, 2017 Elder Bednar says that many former Mormons left the fold because they chose to be offended by something. Our visits were quite straightforward. As described by Elder Neal A. Maxwell, the Church is not “a well-provisioned rest home for the already perfected” (“A Brother Offended,” Ensign, May 1982, 38). ( Log Out /  And if you pray, and if you choose to be clean, and if you choose to follow God’s servants, you will be able to work and wait long enough to bring down the powers of heaven.” Read President Eyring’s full address given in September 1990 at speeches.byu.edu. For every happy ending, there is a sad one. Personally, I have a pretty hard time with the concept that we choose not to be offended or hurt or insulted, etc. Over the years, however, I detected a common theme in many of the answers to my questions. Happy is the man who can brush aside the offending remarks of another and go on his way.” – Gordon B. Hinckley. I don't think people choose to be offended. “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. The idea that a person can choose not to be offended is wonderful, transformative advice when applied to oneself, but it is the worst possible way to respond to someone else’s pain. The Savior is the greatest example of how we should respond to potentially offensive events or situations. Such an event will surely happen to each and every one of us—and it certainly will occur more than once. You can't choose to be hurt,and if you could, you wouldn't. But as Elder Bednar said, “Please remember that you and I are agents endowed with moral agency, and we can choose not to be offended.” When we are hurt, we can choose to be constructive about how we respond to people by clearly communicating how other people impacted us. It officially banned polygamy in … This experience clearly shows that when members choose to be offended at the counsel of priesthood leaders they only end up hurting themselves. The capacity to conquer offense may seem beyond our reach. Pahoran responded compassionately and described a rebellion against the government about which Moroni was not aware. Not everyone thinks about the other person when they “play their cards”—not everyone considers other’s feelings when they speak. Forgiveness. Elder Holland talks here about the sacred care we need to take in how we speak to each other, because our words our powerful. We encourage you to use these quotes in your daily thinking and learning, in your church talks and lessons, and in any thing you choose to use them with in the right context of the Spirit. 2:26 . LDS.org suggests the following websites to start your own blog: blogger.com, wordpress.com, and tumblr.com. Because someone at church offended you, you have cut yourself off from priesthood ordinances and the holy temple. Elder David A. Bednar gave a great talk about this here. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. In some way and at some time, someone in this Church will do or say something that could be considered offensive. It seems that all too often, the “choosing to be offended” card is used to judge, invalidate someone else’s experience, to shame or chastise him/ her, and perhaps even to effectively end discussion. Please remember that you and I are agents endowed with moral agency, and we can choose not to be offended. As His servant, I echo the words of the Master when He declared, “These things have I spoken unto you, that ye should not be offended” (John 16:1). Do Mormons leave the Church because they ‘got offended’? They’re oblivious in their actions … An inexperienced teacher learns valuable lessons as he teaches both supportive and inattentive learners and thereby becomes a more effective teacher. We choose whether or not we will stand courageously for what we believe in, or if we will hide in shame. We affirmed that we were servants of the Lord on His errand to their home. Through the strengthening power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, you and I can be blessed to avoid and triumph over offense. If someone says something offensive, hurtful or insulting to me, I am likely to feel exactly they way they meant me to feel. There are people out there that have no clue, and are rude. “And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. I invite you to learn about and apply the Savior’s teachings about interactions and episodes that can be construed as offensive. However, they were not presently participating in Church activities and meetings. The bishop and I would listen intently and sincerely. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. Each individual, each family, each home, and each answer was different. I don’t really consider what I think the other person I’m playing to would pick,” he told me. “And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? Here at LDSminds, we simply want to provide you with a resource that will motivate, educate, and inspire you to Do More, Be Better, and Become Greater. Mar 15, 2017 - This Pin was discovered by Kathy Weiser. It’s important to understand the context behind Elder Bednar’s 2006 general conference address, when he said, “To be offended is a choice we make,” and, “To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon.” Elder Bednar is focusing on agency here, on taking ownership of how we respond to others. So we can agree that true men simply don’t get offended because they choose not to be. And please remember that such a request should be conveyed lovingly and in meekness—and not in a spirit of self-righteous superiority and pride. In many instances, choosing to be offended is a symptom of a much deeper and more serious spiritual malady. You came for the Savior. One of my favorite activities as a priesthood leader is visiting members of the Church in their homes. 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